Home » LAW »» Family Law

The best story that day was in the classifieds (Family Law)

Wed, 26 Nov 2003 06:04:00 GMT
Tags: classifieds, csmonitor, family, htmlentrybottomstory, http, law, p17s01-lifp, story, tears

Big tears all around. :-)

http://www.csmonitor.com/2003/1126/p17s01-lifp.html?entryBottomStory

The best story that day was in the classifieds

Newspapers are full of sad stories about abused children. But this tale, which
began 76 years ago, ended happily because of its unusual start.

By Marilyn Gardner | Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor

QUEENSBURY, N.Y. – On a November day in 1927, a tiny classified ad in The
Christian Science Monitor carried an unusual message. Under the heading "Board
for Children Wanted," the ad read: "Wanted - A home, with Christian Scientists
preferred, for a girl of 6 years, good birth, adoption optional."
Those 17 words gave no hint of the urgent need that prompted a mother in
Newark, N.J., to write them. Nor could they convey her young daughter's need
for stability, education, and above all, love. Yet that brief appeal marked a
turning point for the little girl, who describes herself as a "ragamuffin" and
an "urchin" during the harsh years before the ad transformed her life.

"I was a throwaway kid, neglected and abused," says Virginia Burch, now a
great-grandmother. Her ready smile and cheerful voice carry no trace of
bitterness.

Relaxing on a rainy November afternoon in the upstate New York home of her son,
Doug Burch, executive director of the Tri-County United Way, Mrs. Burch tells a
remarkable story. It is a story of loss and deprivation, and of love and
fulfillment.

Her odyssey bears testimony to her own courage. It also illustrates the power
of one couple's generous hearts and outstretched hands, and their willingness
to take a risk.

Born Inez Virginia Force in Philadelphia, Burch was a preschooler when her
father left, taking the couple's three sons and leaving his wife and daughter
with no means of support. Her mother cobbled together a meager income by
working in private homes as a nurse's aide. Her unstable life included little
inclination for mothering, so she boarded her daughter in a succession of
foster homes in Newark.

"Bless her heart, I'm sure my mother meant well, but she just wasn't with it as
a mother," Burch says quietly.

Difficult days

Her earliest memories involve spending a winter in the basement rooms of an
older man, possibly her grandfather. "He kept parrots and guinea pigs, and my
fingers were always sore from being nipped when I reached in their cages to
touch them," Burch says. Equally memorable was the food: She and the man ate
nothing but potatoes and onions boiled together.

"One day he said we were going to have pancakes for supper," Burch recalls. "It
didn't work. The butter was rancid, and there was no syrup. I was glad to get
back to potatoes and onions."

Every morning she headed for High Street in downtown Newark to join four or
five boys - "my gang," she calls them. All day they roamed the streets. "We
went into stores and looked around, but we didn't take anything," Burch says.

Whenever they found coins, they bought movie tickets and ice cream. "This was
sheer pleasure - escape from the harsh, dirty, uncaring world into the cozy
darkness of make-believe. Rin Tin Tin and Our Gang were dear friends."

One day, eager to learn, Virginia followed neighborhood children to school.
Sitting at an empty desk, she studied the Palmer Method handwriting charts on
the wall. Then the teacher arrived.

"Why haven't you been in school?" she shouted.

"Nobody told me to come," the little girl replied meekly. The teacher refused
to believe her. "I could see she didn't know much about throwaway kids," Burch
says. Trembling, she ran out the door and never went back.

In one foster home, her "bed" was two kitchen chairs pushed together. The
family always locked the door at 9 p.m. One cold night, she didn't make it home
in time. A man across the street, Mr. Applegate, took her in. "He was so kind.
He had a couch in his living room that was just heaven."

Another foster home was even more disturbing. "These people were very kind, but
they were child molesters," Burch says, referring vaguely to "games on the
floor in the evening." When her mother came to visit, Burch told her about the
activities. "She got a strange look on her face, and we whizzed right out of
there."

For several weeks she stayed with her mother. Then, one November evening, her
mother explained that three families wanted Virginia to live with them. The
choice was hers.

"One family on Long Island had a Cadillac and a little girl," Burch says. "A
couple in Syracuse, N.Y., had a Buick and no children. A couple in Rome, N.Y.,
had a Ford and no children. I took the family with the Ford. I knew cars - I
was street savvy. For some reason, I figured they might be a little kinder."

Years later, Burch learned that all three couples had responded to the Monitor
ad. She assumes one of her mother's employers had given her the newspaper.

Her new life begins

On Dec. 1, 1927, mother and daughter boarded a train in Newark for Utica, N.Y.
Christmas lights glittered at the station in Utica - a special treat for a
child who'd never celebrated Christmas, or even a birthday. When her
prospective adoptive father, Harry Seubert, greeted them, her first question
was, "Does Santa Claus come here?" He simply smiled.

During the 40-minute drive to the Seuberts' house in Rome, the little girl,
wearing a thin cotton dress with no coat, warmed herself in the back seat of
the Model A Ford by curling up in an old sweater of Mr. Seubert's.

Burch can only imagine what her adoptive mother, Florence Seubert, thought when
they arrived. "I was so dirty. My mother didn't clean me up. And I had head
lice." Her scalp stung when the family's housekeeper used kerosene to kill the
lice infesting her bright red hair.

Having her own room was "absolute heaven." She enjoyed the couple's Airedale,
Maryanna, and the attention the Seuberts gave her. For the first time in her
life, she felt loved.

Still, the Seuberts faced challenges. Their prospective adoptee threw
occasional tantrums, flinging herself on the floor. She also spoke with a New
Jersey twang and used gutter language. "Mrs. Seubert would tell me not to say
things, but I would forget. She would wash out my mouth with soap."

In January, just after her seventh birthday, Virginia began first grade. The
Seuberts also enrolled her in Sunday School, her first exposure to religion. "I
liked to hear about Father-Mother God," she says. "I finally had a father and a
mother, and I had God looking out for me, too."

After six months, her birth mother returned to sign the adoption papers.
Finally, Virginia had a permanent home.

A voracious reader, she blossomed academically, skipping semesters in second
and fourth grades. At 17 she graduated as valedictorian of her class. She
attended college for two years, but left when her adored father died suddenly.
Tuition cost $38, and she did not want to use her mother's money.

Soon after that, she married her high school sweetheart, Don Burch. Recalling
the day she first saw him in a chemistry class, she smiles and says, "In came
this great big tall boy. He wore corduroy pants and saddle shoes, a white shirt
and tie, and a green sweater. I thought he was wonderful."

She and her beloved "great big tall boy," a builder, became the parents of
three sons and two daughters. Years passed in a whirl of child-rearing. Then,
three decades after leaving college, Burch enrolled at Colgate University, the
only grandmother in her class. Ever the industrious student, she earned both
bachelor's and master's degrees. She was also elected to Phi Beta Kappa.

"Every honor I received, I thought about the Seuberts, that this was for them,"
she says.

That gratitude also fostered a desire to help others. Burch volunteered in her
children's schools. She taught Sunday School. She founded the Martin County
Literacy Council in Stuart, Fla., where she and her husband retired. She
tutored immigrants and migrant farm workers, and trained prisoners to help
other prisoners with English.

As she reflects on her experiences, she encourages others to help children in
need.

Picking up a framed photograph taken on the couple's 50th wedding anniversary,
Burch, now a widow, looks affectionately at her extended family, which includes
10 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. As the effects of that long-ago
classified ad ripple through four generations, she remains keenly aware of the
great gift the Seuberts gave her: family life.

"It was just a marvelous thing, that feeling of safety and security, that
feeling of parents being interested in me," she says. "I hit the jackpot."

-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown

Comments (3) | Promote | Bookmark |

  • Leave a Comment Now.
  • Comments
  • Thu, 27 Nov 2003 07:18:00 GMT(1)
  • Top: What a wonderful story. Thanks Marla. I wonder did she ever reunite
    with her brothers.

    Helen

    "LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@lawknowledge.org.aol.comnospam> wrote in message
    news:20031126090436.10131.00000972@lawknowledge.org.mb-m01.aol.com... Big tears all around. :-) http://www.csmonitor.com/2003/1126/p17s01-lifp.html?entryBottomStory The best story that day was in the classifieds Newspapers are full of sad stories about abused children. But this tale,
    which began 76 years ago, ended happily because of its unusual start. By Marilyn Gardner | Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor QUEENSBURY, N.Y. - On a November day in 1927, a tiny classified ad in The Christian Science Monitor carried an unusual message. Under the heading
    "Board for Children Wanted," the ad read: "Wanted - A home, with Christian
    Scientists preferred, for a girl of 6 years, good birth, adoption optional." Those 17 words gave no hint of the urgent need that prompted a mother in Newark, N.J., to write them. Nor could they convey her young daughter's
    need for stability, education, and above all, love. Yet that brief appeal
    marked a turning point for the little girl, who describes herself as a "ragamuffin"
    and an "urchin" during the harsh years before the ad transformed her life. "I was a throwaway kid, neglected and abused," says Virginia Burch, now a great-grandmother. Her ready smile and cheerful voice carry no trace of bitterness. Relaxing on a rainy November afternoon in the upstate New York home of her
    son, Doug Burch, executive director of the Tri-County United Way, Mrs. Burch
    tells a remarkable story. It is a story of loss and deprivation, and of love and fulfillment. Her odyssey bears testimony to her own courage. It also illustrates the
    power of one couple's generous hearts and outstretched hands, and their
    willingness to take a risk. Born Inez Virginia Force in Philadelphia, Burch was a preschooler when her father left, taking the couple's three sons and leaving his wife and
    daughter with no means of support. Her mother cobbled together a meager income by working in private homes as a nurse's aide. Her unstable life included
    little inclination for mothering, so she boarded her daughter in a succession of foster homes in Newark. "Bless her heart, I'm sure my mother meant well, but she just wasn't with
    it as a mother," Burch says quietly. Difficult days Her earliest memories involve spending a winter in the basement rooms of
    an older man, possibly her grandfather. "He kept parrots and guinea pigs, and
    my fingers were always sore from being nipped when I reached in their cages
    to touch them," Burch says. Equally memorable was the food: She and the man
    ate nothing but potatoes and onions boiled together. "One day he said we were going to have pancakes for supper," Burch
    recalls. "It didn't work. The butter was rancid, and there was no syrup. I was glad to
    get back to potatoes and onions." Every morning she headed for High Street in downtown Newark to join four
    or five boys - "my gang," she calls them. All day they roamed the streets.
    "We went into stores and looked around, but we didn't take anything," Burch
    says. Whenever they found coins, they bought movie tickets and ice cream. "This
    was sheer pleasure - escape from the harsh, dirty, uncaring world into the
    cozy darkness of make-believe. Rin Tin Tin and Our Gang were dear friends." One day, eager to learn, Virginia followed neighborhood children to
    school. Sitting at an empty desk, she studied the Palmer Method handwriting charts
    on the wall. Then the teacher arrived. "Why haven't you been in school?" she shouted. "Nobody told me to come," the little girl replied meekly. The teacher
    refused to believe her. "I could see she didn't know much about throwaway kids,"
    Burch says. Trembling, she ran out the door and never went back. In one foster home, her "bed" was two kitchen chairs pushed together. The family always locked the door at 9 p.m. One cold night, she didn't make it
    home in time. A man across the street, Mr. Applegate, took her in. "He was so
    kind. He had a couch in his living room that was just heaven." Another foster home was even more disturbing. "These people were very
    kind, but they were child molesters," Burch says, referring vaguely to "games on the floor in the evening." When her mother came to visit, Burch told her about
    the activities. "She got a strange look on her face, and we whizzed right out
    of there." For several weeks she stayed with her mother. Then, one November evening,
    her mother explained that three families wanted Virginia to live with them.
    The choice was hers. "One family on Long Island had a Cadillac and a little girl," Burch says.
    "A couple in Syracuse, N.Y., had a Buick and no children. A couple in Rome,
    N.Y., had a Ford and no children. I took the family with the Ford. I knew cars -
    I was street savvy. For some reason, I figured they might be a little
    kinder." Years later, Burch learned that all three couples had responded to the
    Monitor ad. She assumes one of her mother's employers had given her the newspaper. Her new life begins On Dec. 1, 1927, mother and daughter boarded a train in Newark for Utica,
    N.Y. Christmas lights glittered at the station in Utica - a special treat for a child who'd never celebrated Christmas, or even a birthday. When her prospective adoptive father, Harry Seubert, greeted them, her first
    question was, "Does Santa Claus come here?" He simply smiled. During the 40-minute drive to the Seuberts' house in Rome, the little
    girl, wearing a thin cotton dress with no coat, warmed herself in the back seat
    of the Model A Ford by curling up in an old sweater of Mr. Seubert's. Burch can only imagine what her adoptive mother, Florence Seubert, thought
    when they arrived. "I was so dirty. My mother didn't clean me up. And I had
    head lice." Her scalp stung when the family's housekeeper used kerosene to kill
    the lice infesting her bright red hair. Having her own room was "absolute heaven." She enjoyed the couple's
    Airedale, Maryanna, and the attention the Seuberts gave her. For the first time in
    her life, she felt loved. Still, the Seuberts faced challenges. Their prospective adoptee threw occasional tantrums, flinging herself on the floor. She also spoke with a
    New Jersey twang and used gutter language. "Mrs. Seubert would tell me not to
    say things, but I would forget. She would wash out my mouth with soap." In January, just after her seventh birthday, Virginia began first grade.
    The Seuberts also enrolled her in Sunday School, her first exposure to
    religion. "I liked to hear about Father-Mother God," she says. "I finally had a father
    and a mother, and I had God looking out for me, too." After six months, her birth mother returned to sign the adoption papers. Finally, Virginia had a permanent home. A voracious reader, she blossomed academically, skipping semesters in
    second and fourth grades. At 17 she graduated as valedictorian of her class. She attended college for two years, but left when her adored father died
    suddenly. Tuition cost $38, and she did not want to use her mother's money. Soon after that, she married her high school sweetheart, Don Burch.
    Recalling the day she first saw him in a chemistry class, she smiles and says, "In
    came this great big tall boy. He wore corduroy pants and saddle shoes, a white
    shirt and tie, and a green sweater. I thought he was wonderful." She and her beloved "great big tall boy," a builder, became the parents of three sons and two daughters. Years passed in a whirl of child-rearing.
    Then, three decades after leaving college, Burch enrolled at Colgate University,
    the only grandmother in her class. Ever the industrious student, she earned
    both bachelor's and master's degrees. She was also elected to Phi Beta Kappa. "Every honor I received, I thought about the Seuberts, that this was for
    them," she says. That gratitude also fostered a desire to help others. Burch volunteered in
    her children's schools. She taught Sunday School. She founded the Martin
    County Literacy Council in Stuart, Fla., where she and her husband retired. She tutored immigrants and migrant farm workers, and trained prisoners to help other prisoners with English. As she reflects on her experiences, she encourages others to help children
    in need. Picking up a framed photograph taken on the couple's 50th wedding
    anniversary, Burch, now a widow, looks affectionately at her extended family, which
    includes 10 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. As the effects of that
    long-ago classified ad ripple through four generations, she remains keenly aware of
    the great gift the Seuberts gave her: family life. "It was just a marvelous thing, that feeling of safety and security, that feeling of parents being interested in me," she says. "I hit the jackpot." ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend
    will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown
  • Thu, 27 Nov 2003 05:25:00 GMT(2)
  • >Subject: Re: The best story that day was in the classifiedsFrom: Steve White steve@lawknowledge.org.spam.me.neverDate: 11/26/03 6:12 PM Eastern Standard TimeMessage-id: <steve-70CAB7.17120526112003@lawknowledge.org.netnews.attbi.com>In article <20031126090436.10131.00000972@lawknowledge.org.mb-m01.aol.com>, lilmtncbn@lawknowledge.org.aol.comnospam (LilMtnCbn) wrote: Big tears all around. :-) http://www.csmonitor.com/2003/1126/p17s01-lifp.html?entryBottomStory The best story that day was in the classifiedsGREAT story!

    Yes, indeed. Thanks, Marla.

    Dad
  • Wed, 26 Nov 2003 15:12:00 GMT(3)
  • In article <20031126090436.10131.00000972@lawknowledge.org.mb-m01.aol.com>,
    lilmtncbn@lawknowledge.org.aol.comnospam (LilMtnCbn) wrote:
    Big tears all around. :-) http://www.csmonitor.com/2003/1126/p17s01-lifp.html?entryBottomStory The best story that day was in the classifieds

    GREAT story!

    steve
  • Leave a Comment Now.

Family Law Open Questions

the best format for last will & test. for our family.

My husband and I have been married for eight years and have one child. We plan on having at least one more. We do not currently have a will but would like to get one drawn up. I would like to know the best format to use in making sure our son, and future children, go to the family we have......

The best Domain Names for only 10$ A MONTH!

Theres nothing I need to say, the website speaks for itself. http://website.ws/phase1782...

The best affordable legal help

What is the name of your state?CA Looking for great legal help? i had a child custody issue and i registered at: http://getlegalhelptoday.net and in less than 10 minutes i was speaking to their rep. the service is affordable, fast and proffesional i recommend this service to anyone who needs......

the benefits of journaling

What is the name of your state? Co.Quote: Originally Posted by NSA4answersOk I have done this, I have a journal that dates back to the beginning of 2005, and previous but not as regularly before that but there's still written accounts of the ongoings... HOW on earth does that help me? I feel......

The benefits of cooperation

Warning very x-posted. Hope you don't mind... You had me on page 45... Equal Rights wrote: The benefits of cooperation Well I haven't been to: http://my.fcc.net/~workgroup5/social/cooperation.html but to me this sounds like something others may benefit from reading. "No Contest" is a......

The Beagle has landed

and is posting furiously! Welcome back, kid. Nice weekend?...

The baby is near

I have a son being born in 6 weeks. His mother moved to Okalahoma at the 4 month point of our pregnancy. We are not married. I moved 1300 miles to be available but could not get a job with my company in Oklahoma, so now I live 130 miles away in Texas. I want to be an active parent not a distant......

The article Tsam posted was Dr Laura

"shinypenny" <shinypenny0001@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:c8cb5319.0404151734.52ad6871@posting.google.c om... This was an excellent article, Tsam; thanks for posting it: http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp/2002/002/4.36.html [] I was going to make some comments on this, but......

The anger is too much

"All women are angry. They have always been angry. They always will. This is because women always "want". They want more money. They want a better job. They want more holidays. They want to be thinner. They want, want, want. When you learn that women want, similar to how children......

The anger is too much

Jen wrote: Not a professional. Well, darn good advice anyway. Thanks. Your words have been a warm blanket in a rather cold time. I thought this group was kind of a questionable idea but not anymore. Also, I have a dear friend who's a grief counselor. She lost herbrother, then her mother, then her......

Some questions maybe you're interest in...

Oaths of Allegiance

[Employment & Labor Law] Can an employee be required to sign an oath of allegiance to their supervisor in order to keep their job......

Seller will not send title for motorcycle in Arkansas Arkansas

[Consumer Law & Fraud] Hello, I purchased a motorcycle on 03/02/07 at sellers residence in AR, I live in Tulsa, OK (about 5hrs away). I paid him $4,800.00 in cash and he provided me with a bill of sale stating that he has received the cash and will send the title once he receives it from the lien holder. I still have.........

Death Threat at School

[Government & Administrative Law] What is the name of your state? CO A couple of days ago, a boy at my daughter's high school threatened my daughter and her friend saying "you're going to find yourselves in a shallow grave". He Went on and on screaming at them that he was going to kill them. The whole incident was as.........

Relocation Contract

[Employment & Labor Law] What is the name of your state? Virginia Hello, I am curious about how enforceable relocation contracts are. I was terminated recently for what the company called misconduct (potential wrongful term case) after 14 years of service. I had relocation 6 times with the company with the last move.........

Ownership/Liability of an Easement

[Real Estate & Property Law] What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico There is an easement to a golf course that allows pedestrians and golf carts access to the greens. The easement is situated between two different Home Owner Associations here in Albuquerque, Bernalillo County, New Mexico. One HOA claims.........

Statutory Rape Question

[CRIMINAL LAW & PROCEDURE] I live in California. I was born in December of 1990. My girlfriend was born in June of 1991. My parents claim that I shouldn't go on a trip I've been planning overnight with her because of the risk of "violating statutory rape laws." In otherwords if we broke up and she was bitter, my.........

Bogart Attorney

[COURTS, LAWYERS & LITIGATION] What is the name of your state? CA An Asian nurse I know has hired an immigration attorney to file for change of sponsorship due to employment change. The attorney has a business arrangement with her fellow Asian people to procure clients; I suspect they give legal advice as she has never had an.........

2001 federal law on medical records access

[Government & Administrative Law] about a week ago i heard on the radio that the supreme court has passed a law permitting direct access of personal medical records. What is the name of this law so i can check it out, and what legal category would it be under? Thankyou! Katydid......

Can Police tell LIES legally?

[CRIMINAL LAW & PROCEDURE] Colorado - I have proof that they lied to me. Is it legal for police to tell lies in order to gain access to a residence or for any other reason? Police came to my door , said they got a 911 call from my fax machine and needed to come in and look around. My fax doesn't work. There was no record.........

Jail Transfer & Rights

[CRIMINAL LAW & PROCEDURE] What is the name of your state? Indiana My Boyfriend is currently sitting in Jail on a misdemenor warrant for non license of a handgun. He had to be transfered to a county jail on Saturday because the county the warrant is out of had no body to transfer there. So now he sits on his 4th day there.........