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Yikes, order of protection (Family Law)

Thu, 21 Dec 2000 11:11:00 GMT
Tags: countybrok, daughter, developments, family, fiance, kanabec, law, minnesota, order, protection, regarding, situation, written, yikes

Minnesota - Kanabec County
Ok here's the deal. I've written before regarding this situation. These are new developments My fiance's daughter is 13 years old, having problems with her mom and wants to come live with him. My fiance doesn't have a heck of a lot of money to go to court for custody, he has tried to talk to the Mom about this to no avail as has his daughter. Even though he has joint custody and liberal visitation rights, his daughters have been calling him from school because they say Mom won't let them call him, even though we've always said they could call collect anytime. Now the Mom has decided to file for an order of protection, prohibiting him from being around her or the children for one month. The hearing is scheduled Tuesday, we just got the papers yesterday. She claims that he harassed her on December 3rd and was abusive, when he called to see if his daughter was ok and called back several times when at first she said she was sleeping, she wasn't home, and finally that he couldn't talk to her. He finally called the Sheriff's department and had them patch him through to talk to her to make sure she was alright. There had been an incident the night before, involving the daughter and their son, who lives with us. He had come to pick her up and Mom refused to let her go with him (he's 18). She then called the police on him (her son) even though he had done nothing threatening and did not try to physically take the daughter from the house.
We then did not contact her back for a while, figuring perhaps the situation needed to cool down. The only time we had any contact was when there was a baby born in the family and we had their Grandmother call to let the girls know (she is blocking our phone calls). Then we received the hearing order yesterday.
The abuse she claims simply did not happen. She also claims that he was "abusive" during marriage and that she divorced him and moved away, when actually he divorced her (he was the petitioner)and her moving away consisted of moving two blocks away from the house (he got the house in the divorce as well as physical custody of the son, and joint custody of the daughters with physical going to Mom). At that time, everyone got along great and the children thrived. She didn't seem to be someone who was "afraid for her safety and the safety of the minor children". The problems seemed to start when she took the girls and moved away to live with her boyfriend. She's actually called the police to report abuse from her boyfriend in the past. He's not a real nice guy from what the girls say and we're sure he is a big part of this protection order being filed.
I realize this is too long, my question is, does anyone have any advice for us on what to bring with, what to do on Tuesday? We are gathering papers, letters, we are having friends, employers, neighbors, and others write letters. His son is going to be going to court with him also. The girls are on his side as well, but I am fairly sure they will not be in court on Tuesday because she knows that. He also is having a consultation with a men's rights lawyer, the problem is it's such short notice and a holiday weekend to boot so even if we could afford one, none are available. Thanks in advance for any advice you may have to offer.

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  • Thu, 21 Dec 2000 14:29:00 GMT(1)
  • If you can't get a lawyer for Tuesday, perhaps you can tell the clerk that you didn't get notice in time and work out a postponment. If you do have the hearing by yourself tuesday just have all your paperwork, documentation etc. in
    order and make copies of everything you might submit as evidence for both the judge and the opposing side. Have the witnesses available as they might decide to hear things out at that point. Start thinking about filing a motion for full custody based on her not encouraging a good relationship between the kids and you.
  • Thu, 21 Dec 2000 12:54:00 GMT(2)
  • Minnesota - Kanabec County
    Through doing a little digging, I've read that usually the initial hearing is ordered to allow the accused to deny the allegations and let the order go through, to admit the allegations and let the order go through, or to deny the allegations and request an evidentiary hearing. Is this correct? Would he be allowed to call witnesses, including his children? Or will the judge talk to the kids without the parents present? Is this something he can request? That would be the most helpful, then the kids wouldn't be afraid to say how they really feel.
    Sorry for all the questions, my fiance does not want to be labeled an abuser and have his rights to his kids taken away when he's done nothing wrong. We used to all get along so well, this is really sad and disturbing, especially for the kids.
  • Thu, 21 Dec 2000 15:17:00 GMT(3)
  • Thanks jyoung, we'll see what we can do. The problem is, it's such a short amount of time to prepare and especially during the Xmas holiday. No one is available, everyone is on vacation, etc. I would imagine the children would be the best witnesses, plus me, I was there during the phone call incident but try to stay out of as much as possible. We have her boyfriend on tape calling the son and father various expletives during the phone conversations, but we don't know if that is even submissible. We just taped it to protect our rights. His son and I will be there, I would imagine testimony from her own son saying that she is lying would be enough, but you never know what to expect. She also waited a week and a half to go and file this, I would imagine that would look somewhat suspicious as well. Plus the fact that we have had no contact with her or the kids since this all transpired. We would really rather not have to involve the kids in this, but it's also not right to accuse someone of abuse just to get back at them.
    By the way, read about your case. Congrats on your win!
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