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Young pros try a new kind of family planning (Family Law)

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 08:32:00 GMT
Tags: articleshow, cms, economictimes, family, ghatak, http, indiatimes, law, lopamudra, planning, pros

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/856071.cms

Young pros try a new kind of family planning
LOPAMUDRA GHATAK

ECONOMICTIMES.COM[ MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2004 12:15:36 AM ]
Purnima and Shoumik Basu have been married for 4 years. While Shoumik is a
media planner with a top notch advertising agency, his wife works as a senior
corporate communications manager for a FMCG company. The urban couple living a
jest set life have a hectic professional life , with little time for anything
else. While Purnima has to travel frequently to other cities and towns,
Shoumik’s high-profile job means long hours and carrying work home.

With a successful professional life in tow, the duo who met in college and got
married later are now planning to start a family of their own. Unlike most
couples who plan to have their own kid, the Basus are looking at adopting a
child , primarily, because neither is willing to go on a sabbatical from their
respective high-flying and well-paying jobs. With Shoumik’s promotion due
next month, and Purnima’s responsibilities climbing at the workplace, the
couple feel that they “really don’t have the time to take off from work to
devote to a pregnancy”.

But, as they love children, the ideal solution would be to adopt a kid as their
own. “Frankly, both of us are at the peak of our careers and I don’t think
that either can afford to go slow at this moment. That is the reasons that has
made us look at adoption out of our own choice,” Shoumik, 34, says.

Increasingly, adopting a child no longer revolves around fighting loneliness
and impotency. For double income urban professionals whose lives are
choc-a-bloc with appointments, meetings, tours and workplace commitments, this
is emerging as a new lifestyle strategy to fight the vagaries of nature and
nurture. Debunking the stereotypical notion that only those struck by
infertility have looked at adoption as a way out to build their family system,
working couples are now treading on the path, more out of choice and not just
compulsion.

And a choice it is for Purnima who insists that “although I love babies, I
love my job equally and I am not ready to give up the latter for the former.”
With careers going great guns, many women like Purnima find themselves
redefining the set rules and making their own.

For Shinjini Nandy her career runs parallel to her marriage and the 29-year-old
broadcast journalist is busy covering plum assignments. The communication
graduate from UK is not ready to give up her career on hold. At the same time,
she and her architect husband Sameer are mentally prepared to start a family
unit.

“We have talked about it and frankly, I don’t think that I can ever prepare
myself to be a mother as I am scared and can’t relate to the biological and
physiological changes that it entails. Moreover, the rate at which I keep
travelling and the nature of my high-pressure job would not make me enjoy a
pregnancy as much as I would want to,” Nandy, says.

The Nandys plan to adopt a 2 or 3-year-old girl by the year end, when they
“both would have taken a month-long hiatus from work to complete the paper
work and getting to know the kid,” Sameer emphasises.

While the Nandys are planning to have a baby shower ceremony for the kid to
coincide with a gathering of scattered cousins and family members from all over
the world, software engineer Divya Arora is scouring through advertisement
columns in search of a good nanny to take care of her 3-year-old son while she
travels to Seattle for a 6-month project.

“Adoption was the only available option for us as both of us were working in
different parts of the world for the past 2 years. In such a situation with
each located in far flung location, we mutually felt that it would be
impossible to go through the trying period of a pregnancy individually,”
Arora, says.

Her husband Rohit, who is in the country for 3 months feels happy when he looks
at “their son Armaan and thinks that they have done the right thing. Since
both of us are extremely career-oriented love our jobs so much, it would have
destroyed our personal equation if any of us had to compromise on our
career,” he points out.

Most working couples in urban locations are caught in a vortex of lack of time
and readjusting priorities. While some like the ones mentioned above have found
a shorter way to initiate a family unit, there are others like MNC banker Sumit
Sharma, who believe that “blood is thicker than water”.

“I don’t have anything against adoption. But I would like to have my own
child and if both are willing to work out a compromise, I don’t think
pregnancy can be a career deterrent,” Sharma says.

According to psychotherapist, Manjula Sobti, a fast-paced life is urging many
couples to opt for such measures in this instant age. “It is alright as long
as both partners have talked extensively about it and are sure of going ahead
with taking up new responsibility, and should not have any regrets later on,”
she says.

Whether it is a busy work schedule or the fear of having to deal with bodily or
physiological changes, for most urban working couples adoption is no longer
being synonymous with infertility. Instead, it is a part and the result of a
new age urban lifestyle.

-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown

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  • Comments
  • Tue, 21 Sep 2004 00:45:00 GMT(1)
  • "LilMtnCbn" <lilmtncbn@lawknowledge.org.aol.com> wrote in message
    news:20040920113217.21649.00001234@lawknowledge.org.mb-m06.aol.com... http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/856071.cms Young pros try a new kind of family planning LOPAMUDRA GHATAK ECONOMICTIMES.COM[ MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2004 12:15:36 AM ] Purnima and Shoumik Basu have been married for 4 years. While Shoumik is a media planner with a top notch advertising agency, his wife works as a senior corporate communications manager for a FMCG company. The urban couple living a jest set life have a hectic professional life , with little time for anything else. While Purnima has to travel frequently to other cities and towns, Shoumik's high-profile job means long hours and carrying work home. With a successful professional life in tow, the duo who met in college and got married later are now planning to start a family of their own. Unlike most couples who plan to have their own kid, the Basus are looking at adopting a child , primarily, because neither is willing to go on a sabbatical from their respective high-flying and well-paying jobs. With Shoumik's promotion due next month, and Purnima's responsibilities climbing at the workplace, the couple feel that they "really don't have the time to take off from work to devote to a pregnancy". But, as they love children, the ideal solution would be to adopt a kid as their own. "Frankly, both of us are at the peak of our careers and I don't think that either can afford to go slow at this moment. That is the reasons that has made us look at adoption out of our own choice," Shoumik, 34, says. Increasingly, adopting a child no longer revolves around fighting loneliness and impotency. For double income urban professionals whose lives are choc-a-bloc with appointments, meetings, tours and workplace commitments, this is emerging as a new lifestyle strategy to fight the vagaries of nature and nurture. Debunking the stereotypical notion that only those struck by infertility have looked at adoption as a way out to build their family system, working couples are now treading on the path, more out of choice and not just compulsion. And a choice it is for Purnima who insists that "although I love babies, I love my job equally and I am not ready to give up the latter for the former." With careers going great guns, many women like Purnima find themselves redefining the set rules and making their own. For Shinjini Nandy her career runs parallel to her marriage and the 29-year-old broadcast journalist is busy covering plum assignments. The communication graduate from UK is not ready to give up her career on hold. At the same time, she and her architect husband Sameer are mentally prepared to start a family unit. "We have talked about it and frankly, I don't think that I can ever prepare myself to be a mother as I am scared and can't relate to the biological and physiological changes that it entails. Moreover, the rate at which I keep travelling and the nature of my high-pressure job would not make me enjoy a pregnancy as much as I would want to," Nandy, says. The Nandys plan to adopt a 2 or 3-year-old girl by the year end, when they "both would have taken a month-long hiatus from work to complete the paper work and getting to know the kid," Sameer emphasises. While the Nandys are planning to have a baby shower ceremony for the kid to coincide with a gathering of scattered cousins and family members from all over the world, software engineer Divya Arora is scouring through advertisement columns in search of a good nanny to take care of her 3-year-old son while she travels to Seattle for a 6-month project. "Adoption was the only available option for us as both of us were working in different parts of the world for the past 2 years. In such a situation with each located in far flung location, we mutually felt that it would be impossible to go through the trying period of a pregnancy individually," Arora, says. Her husband Rohit, who is in the country for 3 months feels happy when he looks at "their son Armaan and thinks that they have done the right thing. Since both of us are extremely career-oriented love our jobs so much, it would have destroyed our personal equation if any of us had to compromise on our career," he points out. Most working couples in urban locations are caught in a vortex of lack of time and readjusting priorities. While some like the ones mentioned above have found a shorter way to initiate a family unit, there are others like MNC banker Sumit Sharma, who believe that "blood is thicker than water". "I don't have anything against adoption. But I would like to have my own child and if both are willing to work out a compromise, I don't think pregnancy can be a career deterrent," Sharma says. According to psychotherapist, Manjula Sobti, a fast-paced life is urging many couples to opt for such measures in this instant age. "It is alright as long as both partners have talked extensively about it and are sure of going ahead with taking up new responsibility, and should not have any regrets later on," she says. Whether it is a busy work schedule or the fear of having to deal with bodily or physiological changes, for most urban working couples adoption is no longer being synonymous with infertility. Instead, it is a part and the result of a new age urban lifestyle.

    What is the chance that the kid will bond with the nanny (well, it will see
    more of the nanny than the parents)

    Jason
  • Leave a Comment Now.

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