Home » LAW »» Family Law

Cohabitation? (Family Law)

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:19:00 GMT

My ex and I both reside in and were divorced in Utah. We were married 16 years. She was awarded $1200 per month alimony for 16 years. That is a lot of money for me. I've been paying that and child support for about 6 years. For the past 2 years, she has been "engaged". But, they have set no date for marriage. He keeps a one-bedroom apartment in Salt Lake City where he works. She lives in the home we used to live in in Richfield, about 160 miles south. He typically spends the weekends living with her and the kids in the house in Richfield. The kids call him step-dad. They have family pictures taken and send them out as Christmas cards. They wear wedding rings (not engagement rings, actual wedding rings). Many people in the community assume they are married. If asked where his primary residence is, they would say in Salt Lake. They are very careful to insist that they are not cohabitating. I'm pretty sure he gets his mail in Salt Lake and keeps most of his stuff in Salt Lake. He probably lives out of a suit case when he is in Richfield. He was recently out of work for a few weeks and spent almost every day in Richfield. They sleep together on Saturday night under the same roof as my kids and then teach my kids in Sunday School on Sunday morning. It drives me crazy. Is a judge likely to rule that this is cohabitation?

Comments (24) | Promote | Bookmark |

  • Leave a Comment Now.
  • Comments
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 19:52:00 GMT(1)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by LdiJ

    Well, then they don't meet the requirements for a common law marriage, because they are NOT cohabitating. Again, spending the weekends together is NOT cohabitating.

    Whatever.
    Do you agree that the living "arrangement" by the ex-wife and her numb nutted lover is voluntarily constructed by both to "get around" the legal aspects in the divorce decree for the sole purpose of keeping this OP paying alimony?
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 20:10:00 GMT(2)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by Bali Hai

    Whatever.
    Do you agree that the living "arrangement" by the ex-wife and her numb nutted lover is voluntarily constructed by both to "get around" the legal aspects in the divorce decree for the sole purpose of keeping this OP paying alimony?

    No, not even remotely.
    He works somewhere that is 160 miles away from where she lives. They may have a committed relationship but the absolutely are NOT cohabitating. They are maintaining separate households....and can't even remotely be considered to be playing games.
    They certainly aren't shareing household expenses...which is the whole point of cohabitation.
    Grow up Bali..
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 12:51:00 GMT(3)
  • This doesn't change the answer. Sorry. By the way, those men cannot be used unless they allow it.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 14:33:00 GMT(4)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlimoMe

    I don't get why, legally, cohabitation is required to end Alimony. I have a friend who lives in Las Vegas during the week while his wife lives in Los Angeles. One of them flies to where the other one is and they spend weekends together. They are one of the happiest married couples I know.

    Because alimony is about SUPPORT. Cohabitation indicates that someone else is contributing to supporting the household.
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 21:52:00 GMT(5)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by Bali Hai

    I believe you should grow up if you can't see this sham. You know, sometimes I question if you are really that iqnorant.


    Are you kidding? My BF and I live 15 minutes apart. He spends most Wed nights here, I spend most Thurs-Sat nights there... and we most certainly are NOT co-habbing. Of course, I don't receive alimony, so my motives probably aren't suspect, but COME ON! He lives 2 HOURS from her and maintains a separate residence where he resides 5/7 days. How on Earth is that a 'sham'?
    Dude. Your bitterness is becoming idiocy.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 16:47:00 GMT(6)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by Ohiogal

    And you were MARRIED at the time. YOUR ex is NOT married. In order to prove a common law marriage you have to prove cohabitation. That is why cohabitation is important. Good grief are you just thick?

    I understand that my ex is not married. And, I understand that, under current law, I will probably have to continue paying alimony. What I was trying to say is that I don't think current law is fair in cases like mine.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 13:09:00 GMT(7)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlimoMe

    I don't get why, legally, cohabitation is required to end Alimony. I have a friend who lives in Las Vegas during the week while his wife lives in Los Angeles. One of them flies to where the other one is and they spend weekends together. They are one of the happiest married couples I know.

    In your case, cohabitation is NOT required, marriage is.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 16:21:00 GMT(8)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlimoMe

    It should be about support. Not about where people live most of the time. I've seen couples who live in separate houses at least part of the time and, yet, support is provided.
    There was a year while I was married that I worked during the week in Phoenix. How many truck drivers spend the week out of town? How many construction workers?

    And you were MARRIED at the time. YOUR ex is NOT married. In order to prove a common law marriage you have to prove cohabitation. That is why cohabitation is important. Good grief are you just thick?
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 17:37:00 GMT(9)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlimoMe

    Thank you for your replies. I really appreciate it.
    I looked up some information on Common Law Marriage in Utah and found the following:
    "Utah: For a common-law marriage, a man and woman must (1) be capable of giving consent and getting married; (2) cohabit; and (3) have a reputation of being husband and wife."

    Well, then they don't meet the requirements for a common law marriage, because they are NOT cohabitating. Again, spending the weekends together is NOT cohabitating.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:47:00 GMT(10)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlimoMeI understand that my ex is not married. And, I understand that, under current law, I will probably have to continue paying alimony. What I was trying to say is that I don't think current law is fair in cases like mine.

    We're NOT here to debate law. We're here to help you find out what you're facing, legally.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:56:00 GMT(11)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlimoMe

    I understand that my ex is not married. And, I understand that, under current law, I will probably have to continue paying alimony. What I was trying to say is that I don't think current law is fair in cases like mine.

    Well you know -- you could have stated that alimony would end upon her getting involved in a serious engagement where she and the guy spend an average of two nights together or something like that. You didn't do that. Live and learn.
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:30:00 GMT(12)
  • Is common law marriage recognized in your state?
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 17:03:00 GMT(13)
  • Thank you for your replies. I really appreciate it.
    I looked up some information on Common Law Marriage in Utah and found the following:
    "Utah: For a common-law marriage, a man and woman must (1) be capable of giving consent and getting married; (2) cohabit; and (3) have a reputation of being husband and wife."
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 21:23:00 GMT(14)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by LdiJ

    No, not even remotely.
    He works somewhere that is 160 miles away from where she lives. They may have a committed relationship but the absolutely are NOT cohabitating. They are maintaining separate households....and can't even remotely be considered to be playing games.
    They certainly aren't shareing household expenses...which is the whole point of cohabitation.
    Grow up Bali..

    I believe you should grow up if you can't see this sham. You know, sometimes I question if you are really that iqnorant.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:02:00 GMT(15)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by LdiJ

    It doesn't matter...they are NOT cohabitating....he would just be wasting his money.
    Now, if the kids tell him that the guy has moved in full time, that's a completely different story.
    The whole issue of cohabitation is support. If someone is living with someone and supporting that person, then alimony could possibly be stopped. However, someone that is maintaining a separate household, 160 miles away, and living there MOST of the time, clearly isn't supporting the ex's household.

    Maybe and maybe not. Your reluctance and the legal systems reluctance to take a hard look at the matter and hold the ex-wife accountable for this free money she is getting, clearly gives her the upper hand.
    Receiviing alimony is no different than receiving welfare and we have done a pretty good job of cleaning up the welfare system in this country by holding people that receive benefits accountable.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 12:43:00 GMT(16)
  • I can't say for sure how much monetary support her "fiance" gives her. I know he bought the lawn mower they use at the Richfield residence. I also know that she has a pattern of using men for monetary support. The car she drives is registered in the name of an old boyfriend from the Provo area and he makes payments when she says she can't. The house is now in her father's name because the mortgage company forclosed on it. Some old boyfriend from Delta buys the kids Christmas presents. Her finance objects. But, she tells him there is no way she is going to stop talking to the guy in Delta because she is not going to give up that "resource". She is a money addict. There is never enough and there never will be. Unfortuantly for me, the court is forcing me to enable her.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:36:00 GMT(17)
  • Support should be the issue, I think that is what he is saying. Obviously people support others from a distance, as his examples provided. I am sure this guy is supporting her monetarily. Unfortunately, if support can't be proven, maybe proving this legally is impossible.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 13:46:00 GMT(18)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlimoMe

    I don't get why, legally, cohabitation is required to end Alimony. I have a friend who lives in Las Vegas during the week while his wife lives in Los Angeles. One of them flies to where the other one is and they spend weekends together. They are one of the happiest married couples I know.

    It's all abount forcing men to pay women money my friend.
    When a judge is up for election, a series of questions should be asked about their view of equitable distribution and alimony.
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 22:01:00 GMT(19)
  • Alimome, this is a longshot, but worth a try. If she has been with this guy for two years and the kids call him their step-father I would check school enrollment records and see if this bozo is listed as a contact for emergencies, or as a person who is able to pick the kids up from school. On most forms they ask to list the relationship to the child. I dont know what kind of proof you need to show they are cohabitating but I would consider hiring a private investigator.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 05:31:00 GMT(20)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by FITFatherof2

    Alimome, this is a longshot, but worth a try. If she has been with this guy for two years and the kids call him their step-father I would check school enrollment records and see if this bozo is listed as a contact for emergencies, or as a person who is able to pick the kids up from school. On most forms they ask to list the relationship to the child. I dont know what kind of proof you need to show they are cohabitating but I would consider hiring a private investigator.

    It doesn't matter...they are NOT cohabitating....he would just be wasting his money.
    Now, if the kids tell him that the guy has moved in full time, that's a completely different story.
    The whole issue of cohabitation is support. If someone is living with someone and supporting that person, then alimony could possibly be stopped. However, someone that is maintaining a separate household, 160 miles away, and living there MOST of the time, clearly isn't supporting the ex's household.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 15:11:00 GMT(21)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by LdiJ

    Because alimony is about SUPPORT. Cohabitation indicates that someone else is contributing to supporting the household.

    It should be about support. Not about where people live most of the time. I've seen couples who live in separate houses at least part of the time and, yet, support is provided.
    There was a year while I was married that I worked during the week in Phoenix. How many truck drivers spend the week out of town? How many construction workers?
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 13:04:00 GMT(22)
  • I don't get why, legally, cohabitation is required to end Alimony. I have a friend who lives in Las Vegas during the week while his wife lives in Los Angeles. One of them flies to where the other one is and they spend weekends together. They are one of the happiest married couples I know.
  • Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:52:00 GMT(23)
  • I would be willing to bet that after your divorce your ex became one of those gals that believes in REALLY llllllllooooooooonnnnnnnggggg engagements.
  • Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:33:00 GMT(24)
  • Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlimoMe

    My ex and I both reside in and were divorced in Utah. We were married 16 years. She was awarded $1200 per month alimony for 16 years. That is a lot of money for me. I've been paying that and child support for about 6 years. For the past 2 years, she has been "engaged". But, they have set no date for marriage. He keeps a one-bedroom apartment in Salt Lake City where he works. She lives in the home we used to live in in Richfield, about 160 miles south. He typically spends the weekends living with her and the kids in the house in Richfield. The kids call him step-dad. They have family pictures taken and send them out as Christmas cards. They wear wedding rings (not engagement rings, actual wedding rings). Many people in the community assume they are married. If asked where his primary residence is, they would say in Salt Lake. They are very careful to insist that they are not cohabitating. I'm pretty sure he gets his mail in Salt Lake and keeps most of his stuff in Salt Lake. He probably lives out of a suit case when he is in Richfield. He was recently out of work for a few weeks and spent almost every day in Richfield. They sleep together on Saturday night under the same roof as my kids and then teach my kids in Sunday School on Sunday morning. It drives me crazy. Is a judge likely to rule that this is cohabitation?

    No, I am sorry, but its not cohabitation. He lives in Salt Lake City, not Richfield. He is a weekend visitor only. Now, if Utah is one of the few states that still recognizes common law marriage you might be able to convince a judge that they are married by common law, but I don't know if Utah recognizes common law marriage, or if it does then whether or not they meet the elements. You might not even have standing to try to assert that they are married by common law.
    You really ought to consult a local attorney.
  • Leave a Comment Now.

Family Law Open Questions

Cohabitation without marriage

West Virginia I have been living with my partner for 7 years. We are in the process of building a house. The loan is in his name at the bank, but at the place of purchase it is in both our names. We are currently having problems and will probably split up. I have contributed financially and......

Cohabitation Separation Agreement

What is the name of your state? CT Currently I live in a rental with my boyfriend, my daughter and his son. We've been together for over 2-years and he is now purchasing a house. Because my name is not on the house my parents have strongly advised me to do up some kind of separation agreement.......

Cohabitation Separation

I am completely new to this, and my english is not so good. So please excuse me if there are any mistakes My friend is going to separate from her boyfriend after living with him for 6 years without marriage. They have 2 children ( 6 and 1 yr old). He is a real estate agent who completely......

cohabitation or re-marriage not in contract

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?NH My ex-husband and I were divorced in Jan 2004. He was order to pay me $150/month in alimony. He cheated on me a number of times during our marriage. Although I had all the proof I needed, I did not......

Co-habitation legality

What is the name of your state? Ohio, North Carolina. Hi, all. My question is simple...I hope the answer is as well. Is heterosexual cohabitation by two consenting adults legal or illegal, by statute or court decision, in the following states? North Carolina Kentucky Ohio. Thanks, Jim...

Cohabitation law in Washington State?

What is the name of your state? Washington My ex-husband is currently paying me maintenance. We agreed on 5 years. If I re-marry within that time, the maintenance is discontinued. My fiance and I have recently moved in together, but have not set a wedding date. I am entitled to 3 more years of......

cohabitation in Va

What is the name of your state? Va Does Virginia or Michigan recognize common law marriages? My divorce decree was finalized in Michigan but my ex lives in Va with a cohabitator. The ex has been receiving spousal support from me since the divorce. The cohabitator has been in the picture ever......

Cohabitation in CA - statute of limitations?

What is the name of your state? CA Lived together almost 7 years, 2 kids. Not together 3 years (he got restraining order due to domestic violence). 1. Am I entitled to anything at all? (I am a stay-at-home-Mom to special needs child) 2. Is it too late to claim my rights due to years passed......

Cohabitation Ignored?

What is the name of your state? Ohio Boyfriend's lawyer told him last week that the last few cases he's brought up for re-evaluation for cohabitation were thrown out--and that Ohio doesn't do anything about it. How can this be? Why not just remove the law from the Ohio Revised Code and allow......

cohabitation financial rights

What is the name of your state? Ohio If a man lives with a woman for less than one year; the couple breaks up and both move out of the rental property (both names on the lease) what are the legal requirements for dispersement of the remaining home-related bills such as utilities? Is it based on......

Some questions maybe you're interest in...

Court order to enter safe deposit box (FL)

[Wills & Trusts] An elderly aunt of mine just died intestate in Miami Beach, FL. I am one of three next of kin (nephews) and am shown as the informant on the death certificate. In going through the deceased's personal effects, I dicovered the key to her safe deposit box in a Miami bank. The bank manager has.........

Law suit

[BUSINESS & FINANCIAL & Corporate LAW] What is the name of your state? Texas Under an S Corporation with only two equal stockholders, and paying themselves equal salary can one fire the other stockholder since he assumed the title president and the other vice president. Can corporated funds be used by the person suing to try to get.........

Income Earned after Filing

[BANKRUPTCY & CONSUMER CREDIT] YOUR STATE NAME - Michigan Is it true that a trustee is not interested in income earned after the filing date? The reason I ask is this past month I have worked quite a bit of over time and I know this is only temporary. I go to my Chapter 7, 341 meeting on 5/28 and I'm not sure if I need to.........

collecting on judgement

[COURTS, LAWYERS & LITIGATION] What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania hello, on 3/02 i ordered a rechromed bumper from a company in chicago, il. for my 66 chevy. after 60 days company said he couldnt send bumper and was going to send refund. after many months of no payment, the better business bureau, il. state attorney.........

New York judgment lien help!

[COURTS, LAWYERS & LITIGATION] California / New York Hi folks - any help would be great. Called clerks in NY but no one has answers. What I'm trying to do is create a lien on a judgment debtor's PERSONAL property. I have a money judgment and a security interest in the property. But, I don't want to seize it (the whole mess.........

What do I need?

[Tax Law] I am an independent contractor with a newspaper company. Taxes are not taken from my checks. I have most.. of my check stubs (but not sure I have them all; I'm better organized now then the beginning). I know I can deduct certain things like my car payment, insurance, gas, and even my cell.........

Survivor Documentation

[Wills & Trusts] I live in NY, and am part owner in "common" with 4 other people, of some waterfront property. The property is not an investment, it is for recreation, and for future use by our survivors. We are in the process of generating a "partnership agreement," to cover such things as.........

do i have a lawsuit?

[Accidents & Personal Injury Law] I was driving in my jeep saturday and the car hydroplanded on a bridge, smashed head on into the side of the bridge (which is on a highway so speed were around 50) so anyways the car is totalled and get this after the head on crash, the airbags didnt deploy, no one ws injureded thankfully, but.........

ComEd billing wrong meter

[Consumer Law & Fraud] Illinois I live in a duplex and for the 10 years I have lived here ComEd has been billing me for the neighbor's meter. ComEd has finally admitted they have crossed the meters and now I am trying to get the money I over paid back. ComEd is only giving me what I should have been paying in a typed.........

homeowners insurance Katrina victim

[Insurance Law] What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Mississippi - Long story short house is a total loss but still there. I have 3 seperate insurance policys 1.flood 2.homeowners 3.wind and hail - all diff. companies - called all insurance companies for claims and also reported looters.........